you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
