We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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