Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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