My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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