Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
