someone threw a dead crab at me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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