evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize