Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think my fart just growled at me.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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