Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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