You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
