Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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