Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
