It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
His nipple licking is glorious
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