Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
