im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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