I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
