Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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