FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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