Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
