I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
