Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
