i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize