I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
