I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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