When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
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