Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize