if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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