so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
