People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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