Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
