i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
