i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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