I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
