**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize