You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
