well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude i'm inner monologue high
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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