my sisters under your porch take her home
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
