It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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