I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
