I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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