I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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