I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
