I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
