i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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