is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
