Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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