direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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