dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
