Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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