she was so not down for the gang bang
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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