YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
