I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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