and she was petting her beer can
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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