i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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