but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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