I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
