My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
