the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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