Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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