just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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